When Roger and I were separated and going thru counseling, our counselor used the Gottman Method...very logical, useful methods to help us get thru the troubled times. I found this list of some tangible, easy ways to stay connected to your spouse..hope this helps someone like it has helped us!!
Gottman found that these small, but important, steps when done consistently will improve and strengthen your relationship. At the end of the week, the total time for these steps is approximately five hours (that's less than one hour a day to spend on your relationship!).
Partings-when you part in the morning make sure you've learned about one thing happening in your partner's day. Estimated time: 2 minutes per day x 5 working days, totals 10 minutes per week
Reunions- Spend 20 minutes at the end of each workday to reconnect and talk about your day. Such a conversation with reduce your stress at the end of the day. Estimated time: 20 minutes per day x 5 working days, totals 1 hour, 40 minutes per week
Admiration and Appreciation-Find some way every day to communicate genuine affection and appreciation toward your partner. Estimated time: 5 minutes per day x 7 days, totals 35 minutes per week
Affection-Kiss, hold, grab and touch each other while you're together - be playful with each other. Make sure to kiss each other before going to sleep. A kiss can be a way to let go of any minor irritations that may have built up over the day. Estimated time: 5 minutes per day x 7 days, totals 35 minutes per week
Weekly Dates-Take at least two hours every week to stay connected in a low-pressure way. Use the time to talk to get to know each other even more, update each other about important issues, go out on a date, and enjoy being together. You can also use the time to work through any arguments or issues that may have come up. Estimated time: 2 hours per week
2 comments:
Great post, Lesa. I'm pleased to see we do most of the suggested things... but we stink in the "date" department. I couldn't tell you the last time the 2 of us got away together... alone... without the kids. (sigh)
Great list Lesa! So true, so true.
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